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8/28/2007 某种激烈。某种决绝。只是为了彼岸的花。把梦龙卡布奇诺味的巧克力脆皮剥掉（我不喜欢巧克力脆皮的雪糕，却买错了），把雪糕溶到scotch里去。
酒精不是好东西，我对此并无嗜好。即使有着好听的“麦芽酿造”也无济于事。却仍旧喝了一大杯。
喉咙热热的，头有些晕，再去看剩下一半的《彼岸花》。
见证了一场孤独。体验了一回激烈与空虚。
安妮似乎喜欢用句号。即使是一段，该停止的时候就停止。态度决绝，就是她要表达的意思。
她说，去彼岸观望来路，也许会有所不同。
她用的是句号。
不是为了有所不同而去彼岸。而是去到彼岸后自然的期待变化。
她说并不害怕孤独，害怕的只是寂寞。
无处不在的寂寞啊。
我们并不是爱上爱情。
 搬家。
东西拿过来，东西搬出去。
“三搬当一烧”。五年内搬三次，我已经学会不再被触动。
只是偶尔重游故地是心底有些感慨。
那面墙，现在仍面对着同样的阳光吗。
是个对洗手间有着依赖感的“有问题”的人。
家里有两个洗手间，自然有一个不常用拿来堆放杂物。
而我爱上的，是可以在那冰冷的瓷砖上躺着；阴暗的空气里呼吸着。
那是我的秘密。我的私人空间。
 安妮怎么说Jeremy Irons，“相信喜欢他的女人会有很多。那些心里有阴影的女人，看着他的眼神，会觉得安全。就好象一间阴暗的屋子里，它不是盲人般的黑暗，它只是阴暗。”。
这个男人，我会因为《彼岸花》里提到他而买来看。
即使已经看过。还是想保存纸页间叙述他的心情。
他在Lolita里说“She could fade and wither - I didn't care. I would still go mad with tenderness at the mere sight of her face.”。
这个男人。
只是看着他就好。
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最近触动的歌是《离家出走》，而第一步如何，几日内便有分晓。
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我只是追求幸福的凡人，虽然追求的是到不了手的彼岸花。
但那样不更好吗。
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为了调和气氛，
我现在仰慕着的那彼岸花，也是害怕寂寞，却不曾真正与人长相厮守的男人，叫做Al Pacino XD
5/19/2007 NumbI can't believe you pull this shit on me every time. Every fucking time. And what make all this a little harder to accept is that I believed ,everytime,that we can be defferent. You gave me everything,yet this everything's everything is not yours,is mine,and you can't control it. How come everytime I tell myself stop believing and be left like this? And how come everytime we fight over the same problem,literally,and acting like we're not fighting?At least I'm pretending I'm not hurt. And how come you are like that?How come you are like that??How come you are like that???!! I'm naive. and you're stubborn. See,I don't even want this "me"and"you"appered in the same line!!And here we are,so out of place,living together,running same blood in veins. Tears flow like they're free,yes they are,but it already cost me,it cost my love for you countless times.But this love will not drain,no matter how angry,how sad am I.THAT'S WHAT IS SO ANNOYING. I just wish I can be numb. But EVERYTIME I'm NOT. Numb Lyrics
I'm tired of being what you want me to be feeling so faithless lost under the surface I don't know what you're expecting of me put under the pressure of walking in your shoes [caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow] every step that I take is another mistake to you [caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow] I've become so numb I can't feel you there become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you. can't you see that you're smothering me holding too tightly afraid to lose control cause everything that you thought I would be is falling apart right in front of you. [caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow], every step that I take is another mistake to you [caught in the undertow,just caught in the undertow] and every second I waste is more than I can take. I've become so numb I can't feel you there become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you. And I know I may end up failing too But I know you were just like me with someone disappointed in you. I've become so numb I can't feel you there become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you. I've become so numb I can't feel you there [tired of being what you want me to be] (repeat x 2) 每次我都是这么EMO，是怪你还是怪我？
4/5/2007 Converse as ur lover穿Converse就像与人相处的过程一样 开始的磨合期，小脚趾有些痛 过了一段时间后，相处的十分融洽 再过一段时间，脚踝处的布被磨坏（我这个‘破坏鞋’王！），穿着鞋又十分的不舒服。 这时候，如果能忍的话，继续再穿下去也是没问题的；渐入佳境都有可能。 如果忍不了的话，趁早换鞋；旧爱被抛弃，只闻新欢笑。 Typical relationship. 友情，爱情；大抵都是这个模式吧。 或者，不像我那么不经意的把那层防护布磨穿，都可以修成正果。 但正如我不能克制我的坏习惯一样；感情，也不是‘想’怎样就能怎样的。 |
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